Why Narcissist Seek Out Relationships
I am often asked, “Why would a Narcissist seek out a relationship, only to abandon and discard his victims?
Trust me, this is a valid question, and an important one!
What you have to understand is that narcissistic men who seek and chase women are looking for meaning to fill up their emptiness. They want someone to cater to their needs and fill the enormous void they feel inside.
In fact, Narcissists need people more than anyone.
They have very specific reasons for being in relationships, but they are not built on the universal need we all have, which is to love.
Please understand, Narcissists do not enter or stay in relationships for love, it’s critical that you totally ‘get that’. Their motives are quite different.
I believe Narcissists become involved in relationships in order to ensure their needs are met. It’s really that simple…nothing more, but certainly nothing less.
They become involved in relationships to ensure that someone is always present to provide them with the attention and adoration they require in order to feel alive. Narcissists feed off of attention. Adoration from others is what fuels them. It is like a drug to them and they are addicted to it.
A Narcissist needs to ensure he has a constant and reliable source of supply at all times. The best way he has found of doing this is to have a significant other in his life. He does not love this person, nor does he wish to be with this person most of the time. However, because it is impossible to control how much attention or Primary NS he will receive from the outside world on a daily basis, he must make certain he has a backup form of it that is always available to him. It is for this reason a Narcissist seeks to find a significant other. He prefers Primary NS because it is ever-changing and dynamic, but when unavailable, he will resort to Secondary NS … a.k.a. his significant other.
Unfortunately, once a Narcissist is convinced he has secured the love of his victim, the inevitable occurs. Yes, the once loving, romantic, prince charming, is no longer to be found.
In addition, living with a Narcissist can be exhilarating, is always onerous, often harrowing. You are placed onto a pedestal, only to be suddenly left heartbroken by his sudden change in behavior.
It’s critical that you understand this is NOT about you! This never-ending cycle of abuse, has nothing to do with you! In fact, most victims are often left to feel as if something is wrong with them. They are often left with the harrowing mindset that ONLY had they been good enough, only had they been the ‘Narcissists’ perfect partner, things would have been different.
Please hear this. IT IS NOT TRUE.
With a narcissist, the brutal ending is always lurking, it’s just simply a matter of when..