Are you currently involved in an abusive relationship? Are you dealing with the pain and emotion of being involved with a Narcissist? Does your relationship often feel like a never ending ride? An emotional roller coaster?
Are you currently or constantly wondering, is my relationship over? Are you wondering what went wrong, and question if you are to blame for his or her bizarre behavior?
Trying to understand how you went from being idealized and put on a pedestal to being completely devalued and discarded is baffling. Suddenly, you can’t do anything right and nothing you do is good enough for him. By understanding the inevitable Devalue & Discard (D&D) behavior of a narcissist, you will finally realize what happened and know that you did nothing wrong. It is not your fault. It has nothing to do with you!
His change in behavior was unavoidable. He will continue to repeat this pattern in every relationship he enters.
Facing the reality that your loved one is not who you thought they were can be extremely hard to accept. After all, who wants to accept that the feelings you shared were never real? Who wants to accepts that the love you endured was never genuine? Who wants to accept that the entire relationship was nothing more than a hoax? NO ONE WANTS TO ACCEPT THAT!
While this may be true, the reality we must come to accept is that Narcissists do not change. Once a Narcissist feels he has obtained control of you (i.e. marriage or moving in together), you will see a completely different side of him you never knew existed. Narcissists have often been described as having a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. Once in control, a Narcissist becomes demeaning and cruel.
When dealing with an abusive relationship with a Narcissist, you must first realize they are not in touch with their true self, and based upon this key factor, they never have the capacity to love on healthy terms.
Meaning, Narcissists are oblivious to others and how their behavior affects people close to them. Unfortunately, this doesn’t make their behavior any less hurtful however, it is the reality of who you are dealing with. You must accept this. It is critical to your own health and recovery.
Awareness and acceptance is essential. You need to educate yourself, find support, and eventually accept what is really happening.
You must accept the fact that a Narcissist will never change, and you will never gain the love you so deserve.